Nestbeschmutzer

The following is a piece of nonsense mixing English and German, the result of Leif Hendrik of Nordic Mountain suggesting to me that I write something on the German word Nestbeschmutzer.  (This was after he'd read my previous piece of English/German nonsense: Backpfeifengesicht.)  Lief had written: How about 'Nestbeschmutzer', which means 'nestbefouler', used among the Germans to describe someone who is his own worst enemy. It's a great term which can be applied to so many situations in life.
 

Nestbeschmutzer

Schmoozing is an art I don’t indulge in:

wheeling-dealing’s not my scene,

persuading those who need persuading,

grovelling over dinner tables -

none of this appeals to me, because I’ve

nothing schmoozable to offer. 

I’m schmoozeless, even in the bedroom,

where such an art might make a difference;

though schmoozeless means I won’t besmirch

the friendship closest to mein Herz, will

keep it smirchless and quite Herzstück,

will avoid the Nestbeschmutzer

syndrome, the befouling of the nest where,

my own worst enemy I’d be.  And when

nest-befouling children leave the nest (en-

forcing empty-nested syndrome) they’ll

leave, I hope, bewegliches Eigentum

still in place, and all the endless/endlos

tidying-up behind them will cease to be. 

No longer each and every item a

movable feast of where the heck did

that go? And who moved that?

If something moves now, I know it’ll

be the fault of my own worst enemy:

that nestbefowling traitor, Me.

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The phrase bewegliches Eigentum can mean goods and chattels, moveable property.