Dinosaurs...are bores

Dinosaurs....are bores

Written in 1993 as a piece for Column 8, the weekly column I wrote for the Star Midweeker, a freebie paper that has been published in Dunedin for many years now. This version (which I think varies slightly from the original) was sent to the School Journal, who felt it was ‘too old’ for their readers...   Reading it now, it has some awkward moments, but perhaps could be salvageable.

I’ve had enough of dinosaurs,

Especially Hadrosaurs.

Dinos must rank, I think, as the

All-time greatest bores.

Who cares about some fifty tonnes of

Hefty Brontosaurus

Shoving all his weight around and asking:

‘Don’t you adore us?’

Who wants to meet and greet some

Rampant Iguanodon,

Marketing his lizard look

Until I feel quite put upon.

Who gives a hoot about a coot called

Rex Tyrannosaurus,

And whether on his nastier days he’d

Gouge and rip and gore us?

Euparkeria, Hypsilophodon, your

Names trip off my tongue –

NOT!

Triceratops, Coelophysis, your

Praises they ain’t sung.

Compsognathus, Dimorphodon, you

Thought you ruled the land;

You missing links, you’re all extinct –  I

Wish you all were banned.

You poor deficient dinosaurs, you

Denizens long gone.

Scarce good it did you, lumpy brutes, being

Weighed up by the tonne.

Go back where you belonged, you lot, in your

Dim Cretaceous time,

And let me try and end this rot with a

Non-Jurassic rhyme.