Dinosaurs....are bores
Written in 1993 as a piece for Column 8, the weekly column I wrote for the Star Midweeker, a freebie paper that has been published in Dunedin for many years now. This version (which I think varies slightly from the original) was sent to the School Journal, who felt it
was ‘too old’ for their readers... Reading
it now, it has some awkward moments, but perhaps could be salvageable.
I’ve had enough of dinosaurs,
Especially Hadrosaurs.
Dinos must rank, I think, as the
All-time greatest bores.
Who cares about some fifty tonnes of
Hefty Brontosaurus
Shoving all his weight around and asking:
‘Don’t you adore us?’
Who wants to meet and greet some
Rampant Iguanodon,
Marketing his lizard look
Until I feel quite put upon.
Who gives a hoot about a coot called
Rex Tyrannosaurus,
And whether on his nastier days he’d
Gouge and rip and gore us?
Euparkeria, Hypsilophodon, your
Names trip off my tongue –
NOT!
Triceratops, Coelophysis, your
Praises they ain’t sung.
Compsognathus, Dimorphodon, you
Thought you ruled the land;
You missing links, you’re all extinct – I
Wish you all were banned.
You poor deficient dinosaurs, you
Denizens long gone.
Scarce good it did you, lumpy brutes, being
Weighed up by the tonne.
Go back where you belonged, you lot, in your
Dim Cretaceous time,
And let me try and end this rot with a
Non-Jurassic rhyme.
